07.03.09
Warning…today is one of my bitter days
I try not to bitch too much. I try to stay away from bitter people. I hate the haters. But man, do I feel like part of the club today!
What’s that saying?…fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? Something like that. That’s kind of how I’m feeling about the news from our agency yesterday that there will be an “official” announcement today about how the abandonment cases will be processed. I’m so over their little announcements that there will be an announcement! How many times have we heard that over the last few weeks? A little bitter sounding, I know. It’s hard not get my hopes up that, yes, today will bring relief from this almost two-month nightmare. I’m ready for someone to wake me up!
Turns out this whole mess didn’t really even have anything to do with baby-stealing or selling, or even suspicious activity by the orphanages. According to our agency, it all started because it was determined that an agency working in Ethiopia is not doing humanitarium work, which is a requirement if you’re going to do adoptions there. So, in essence, the courts have been holding our babies “hostage” because of this?!? I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why we can’t get any clear cut information about this. Our agency director was in Ethiopia for two weeks, and yet our conference call yesterday left me even more confused about the situation. Everyone has been calling this the “abandoned child investigation.” Now that’s a lie too? Wow.
I will spend yet another day stalking my email. Another day hoping that we’ll hear something official, or positive. Another day away from my Son. How much more heartache can a person take? I guess we’ll find out.
06.07.09
A little hope
Well, it seems there just might be a little light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. Our agency reported Friday that they believe the courts have completed the investigation in Ethiopia. There has been no “official” announcement yet, but we’re hopeful that it will happen soon. The next step (hopefully) will be getting our court date rescheduled. I have no illusions that this will happen in time for the court closure in August. Also, there’s no telling what new procedures the courts will put in place because of this investigation. Hopefully, it won’t be anything that prolongs our wait even more! The orphanage that Asher is from is one of the facilities the investigation has been focusing on. I am cautiously optimistic. I refuse to get my hopes up again at this point. The day I celebrate will be the day we pass court and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s OURS!
I was so happy to get new pics of Asher this past week from my friend Sherry who was in ET picking up her little cutie. Thanks Sherry!! Asher is getting so big. He turned 7 months old May 26. I don’t know what they’re feeding him at the HOH, but little man isn’t so little anymore! He’s rockin’ the double chin too. I feel like I’m missing so much of his growing. I have drawers and a closet full of clothes that he’ll probably never get to wear. It makes me sad, but as long as he comes home, I could care less about the clothes!
Owen and I took a much-needed mini vacation to North Carolina this week. We rented a cabin in the mountains near the Nantahala River. It was nice to relax and enjoy the beauty of the Smoky Mountains. I see why they’re called the Smoky Mountains…they were shrouded in mist the entire time. We had reservations to go whitewater rafting, but it was chilly and raining, so we cancelled and drove to Asheville, NC instead. Cute, artsy little town. Now it’s back to reality!
05.29.09
Waiting…
I thought our waiting was going to be at an end on May 25. That would have been the day we met Asher for the first time. This past weekend was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I was truly thinking I had a handle on it, but when the weekend rolled around, I just lost it. Again. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I have moments of such despair. I’m not the easiest person to comfort under normal circumstances (ask Owen!), but this is just so beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s emotionally and physically draining. There are times when I just don’t know what to do with all the anger and sadness I’m feeling.
No earth-shattering news from Ethiopia. There has been some movement in the on-going investigation. According to our agency, the courts have lifted the ban on abandoned baby cases from some of the government-run orphanages, but have expanded the investigation into other parts of Ethiopia. Our agency seems encouraged by this. For me, the jury is still out.
Owen did his best to distract me last weekend. We spent Saturday out and about. He took me to my favorite restaurant for lunch…Pappadeaux’s! Seafood almost always cheers me up. 
Monday we drove up to Helen, GA, a cheesy, touristy recreation of an alpine village in North Georgia. Love it! We had our fill of German sausage, sauerkraut and beer. After lunch, we hiked up to the Anna Ruby Falls. A lot of other people had the same idea. The trail was pretty crowded, but it was such a nice day, and everything was so green!
Today officially begins my vacation. I really, really need it right now. Owen and I booked a cabin in the North Carolina mountains for four days next week. We’re looking forward to the solitude and just spending time together. We’ve got some fun things planned too. Whitewater rafting, exploring the Smoky Mountains, a little gambling at the casino, hiking. It’s going to be a fun four days!
I’ll leave you with some pics from last weekend at Anna Ruby Falls. So beautiful!
05.18.09
10 days…
It’s been 10 days since we found out that our court case in Ethiopia had not been heard on the appointed date, May 8, and our adoption of baby Asher was put on “hold”. It’s been the 10 longest days of my life! It’s still so hard for me to “talk” about it. We were supposed to be leaving a week from yesterday to bring him home. I’m so tired of explaining to everyone why that isn’t going to happen now. I refuse to say “if” it’s going to happen. I still have to believe that this is just a temporary bump in the road…we’ve had so many of those since we started this process 2 years ago.
We’ve been getting very little information about the situation in Ethiopia. So far, we’ve learned that the judges have finished their preliminary investigation into the unethical practices of certain orphanages, agency, police officer and social worker. We know that our agency has NOT been implicated and that our children are NOT involved. There are 9 other families that this is affecting. There is a meeting today in ET with the JCICS (Joint Council on International and Children’s Services). We’re hoping to get more information from them on the judge’s decision regarding pending adoption cases. Until then, we’re in limbo.
Owen and I are trying to stay busy. We’ve really been leaning on each other throughout this ordeal. I’ve been communicating with some of the other families as well. It’s impossible for most people to understand what we’re going through right now. The May 8 Families, as we unofficially call ourselves, have been such a huge comfort and support to me. Just being in contact with them somehow makes this a little easier for me to bear.
I’ll leave you with a much happier note…
My nephews, Austin and William.
05.08.09
Court today!!
There are 14 families who didn’t get much sleep last night. We’re all waiting to hear the outcome of our court dates in Ethiopia. We should know something by noon today.
An email yesterday from CHI instructed us all to call in to a scheduled conference call at 1:00PM Central time (that’s noon for us) to go over the information received from CHI’s in-country representative and answer any questions. I’m hoping we’ll be discussing the good news that EVERYONE passed court today!
Stayed tuned…
04.29.09
Long overdue update (long post)
Wow! I didn’t realize just how long it had been since I last updated the blog. In some ways, I guess that’s a good thing. It means I’ve been keeping busy and not obsessing on bringing the little guy home. Believe me, it’s easy to obsess if you let yourself. It has been 3 long months since our referral. We still have a month to go…possibly longer.
Our court date is scheduled for May 8 (that’s 4 days sooner than I last reported). It seems that there are a total of 14 families scheduled for court on May 8. Our Visa appointment at the US Embassy was supposed to be May 28. I got an email yesterday from our agency stating that the Embassy will only hear 10 cases per day per agency, which means at least 4 families are going to be shit out of luck! What that means is those 4 families are going to get later Visa appointments, either June 11 or June 25. The Embassy is now only hearing cases every 2 weeks. Needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper last night. We probably won’t know when OUR Visa appointment will be until after/if we pass court. At this point, it’s all just so frustrating. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry sometimes.
One of the most frustrating things about this whole mess, other than we STILL DON’T HAVE OUR SON, is I can’t really confirm travel arrangements yet. The email I got 2 weeks ago said we would more than likely have our Visa appointment on May 28, so I went ahead and booked our airline tickets and accomodations in ET. Now there’s a possibility that I’ll have to change everything. Gggrrrrr! There’s also the possibility that we won’t get to travel with the two families I’ve become close to during all this. We have made all our travel arrangements together…even taken over almost an entire guest house in ET!! lol I would be devastated if we didn’t get to travel with them.
Well, enough moaning and groaning. I know I have no control over this. I never have. You would think by now I would quit fighting it. Guess it’s just not in my nature to give in.
On to better news…my good friend Angie and her husband, Joe, are in Ethiopia right now picking up their son, Silas!! Angie and I have known each other since we both started in the Vietnam program way back when. We’ve cheered each other on and cheered each other up many times throughout this process. It is so great to see her dream finally coming true! She and Joe are also going to take pictures of our little guy for us while they’re there. Hopefully, they’ll get to give him a little lovin’ too. We can’t wait to see his little face and find out how he’s doing!
Now for some pictures…
I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned the little guy’s name here on the blog. We’ve decided to call him Asher. My Mom made these awesome letters to go over the crib. She did such a great job! She also motivated/nagged me into painting the nursery finally. It turned out beautiful! Thanks Mom!
The next picture was a little reward to myself for being smoke-free for almost 3 months! I still can’t believe I kicked a 25 year habit without actually killing someone. Yay me!
We’ve had 2 of the 4 baby showers planned for us so far. Baby shower #1 was a small affair thrown by some friends that weren’t going to be at shower #2.
What great friends we have!
Shower #2 was the big affair that my Mom and best friend, Tiffiny, planned. Party planner, caterer, gourmet cake…you name it, my Mom did it! She had a blast doing it too! She was soooo good at doing it that the party planner offered her a job! LOL Our shower rocked Mom!
Do you think Asher got enough stuff?
Trying to organize it all.
Two more showers to go! I really don’t know where I’m going to put it all. I have the bestest family and friends! Thanks for being there guys and showering us with love and support!
03.09.09
Stuff
I’ve been such a bad blogger lately. Guess my mind has been elsewhere. I’ve been working on updating our home study so we can get our I-797 renewed. The thing is, it expires June 12. Our Visa appointment is tentatively scheduled for June 5. We could wait and see if we pass court on May 12, but if for some reason we don’t we wouldn’t be able to travel on our expired I-797 if court gets rescheduled. With the way the courts have been lately in ET, there’s no way I’m going to risk it. It didn’t take me long to decide to renew it. I WAS NOT going to risk being able to pick up our little guy!! He’s already waited too long and so have we!
Speaking of updating our home study…it’s a major pain in the ass, but I think my biggest complaint about having to do everything again is since February 6 we’ve had to get fingerprinted three times!! The first time was to get an extension on our I-797 fingerprints for immigration, the second was for GBI (state record check), and third was for the FBI! Come on people, there’s got to be a better way! Our fingerprints haven’t changed since the first time we did them 15 months ago! Okay, done venting.
Our blogger friends, Steve and Aimee, just got back from Ethiopia with their beautiful daughter, Sophia. She is a cutie! They were kind enough to take pictures of our beautiful boy for us! I have never been so impatient to see pictures in my entire life! He looks so well taken care of. His little cheeks have filled out. Aimee says he’s still very tiny, but that’s okay. We can’t wait to get him home and fatten him up.
I’m feeling slightly overwhelmed with all the travel arrangements we need to make. I haven’t even started yet! There’s a large group set to travel at the same time we do, so staying at the HOH is pretty much out of the question. We’ll need to make reservations at one of the nearby guest houses. I’ve been buying our travel supplies for a while now. Everytime I go to the store, I buy something else, so we’re pretty set as far as that goes. The nursery, not so much. We have the furniture and crib, but I haven’t done much else decorating-wise. I’ve been meaning to paint, but I’ve just been flat-out procrastinating on that one. I hate painting! The rest, I just can’t decide what I want to do in there. I feel like I’m running out of time.
Since I don’t have our little guy to photograph yet, here are a few of my current subjects:
03.04.09
We have a court date!
We received our court date today. It’s scheduled for May 12. We have a tentative visa appointment scheduled for June 5. So, it looks like we’ll be leaving for Ethiopia sometime around the end of May as long as we pass court. Keeping my fingers crossed!!
01.31.09
The fog is lifting…a little
What a week this has been! Emotional, exciting, scary, wonderful. Surreal, to say the least. I’ve been walking around in a perpetual fog since Monday. I seem to have forgotten how to function normally. My mind and my heart are in Ethiopia.
Let’s see…”the call”. I’m at a loss for words, so bare with me. I was at work. My cell phone rang at 3:00 pm exactly. When I saw Toni’s name on the display, I knew. I actually had to let it ring a couple of times before I answered because I suddenly felt like I couldn’t talk. Have you ever felt an emotion so deeply that it just grabs ahold of your vocal cords and renders you mute? Well, that was me. I answered and Toni asked if it was a good time to talk. I think I grunted an affirmative. She then said let me get Owen on the line. I was about to tell her she’d have to call his work and have him pulled out of class, but she was way ahead of me. She had him on the other line! From that point on I remember very little of the conversation. I do remember Toni telling me “don’t cry” and me saying “but I can’t help it” as I sobbed uncontrollably. I remember bits and pieces. Me telling Owen to write everything down because I was shaking too badly to hold a pen…telling Toni that she could overnight his paperwork to our home because there was no way I’d be going to work the next day…Owen asking me if I was okay to drive home. Man, was I that bad? Probably. Definitely. I think I’ve been holding so much in over the last months that when we finally got the call, all that emotion came out all at once.
Owen and I had made a promise to each other that we would wait to open the email with his pictures together. We both raced home. I’ll never be able to describe what it was like seeing his little face for the first time. The first thing I saw were his eyes. A friend of ours said, “What beautiful eyes…deep, warm.” I’ve been staring at them ever since.
We received our acceptance paperwork from CHI the following day and sent them back yesterday. So, the ball is rolling. Unfortunately, referral to travel time has increased to 3 1/2 to 4 months. I don’t know how I’m going to wait that long. The waiting before was nothing compared to this now that I’ve seen his face. The good news is CHI will be sending updated photos every 4 - 6 weeks, so at least we’ll have that while we wait. In the meantime, I have lots to do. My desk is covered with lists and sticky notes. Did I ever mention that I’m one of those anal retentive, uber-organized people?
Tomorrow morning we’re meeting with our group of bloggy friends for brunch to share pictures and gush over our little ones. Michelle and Meredith leave for Vietnam in two weeks to pick up their little boy. Steve and Aimee have a court date in Ethiopia for their little girl on February 3. Angie and Joe’s court date for their little boy in Ethiopia is set for April 6. Jennifer and Matt just received their referral for a little cutie in China (we’ll miss you tomorrow Jenn!). This group of ladies has been there since we started this whole process way back in the Vietnam days. They have been a huge support. I see many playdates in the very near future. We’re going to have the coolest multicultural playgroup ever!!
01.27.09
It’s a boy!!
We got the call today! We are parents! There are no words to describe how I’m feeling right now. Tomorrow would have been 7 months exactly on the waiting list.
Our little guy is 3 months old. Unfortunately, that’s all I can share until we pass court in Ethiopia. He is beautiful and we are so blessed!
